Hi! I’m Craig. Yvette’s Scottish boyfriend and first-time article writer. Yvette asked me to write a piece about dating a Scottish man and we landed on this. Please note – I am not every Scotsman. The following nonsense applies mostly to me and should not be taken as a literal guide. Unless you want to date me. I’m flattered, but I am already spoken for.
But firstly, let’s consider the reasons why you should date a Scotsman…
Why should I date a Scotsman?
The majority of non-Scots love the accent. I’ve no idea why or how this phenomenon has come about but the amount of times I have managed to get out of Yvette’s bad books simply by quoting Groundskeeper Willie. It may even save me when she reads this later.
We’re a creative bunch.
The Scots have invented, discovered and composed a multitude of groundbreaking things. Here’s a few interesting ones thought up by Scottish men.
For the record- Scotland has its fair share of brilliantly creative women but it would take me all day to list them all.
Music and poetry
I’ve no doubt you have heard of our national bard, Rabbie Burns. If you haven’t – get Googling. You’ve possibly finished many big nights out singing “Auld lang syne.” Rumor has it Rabbie was a hit with the ladies too.
Some more slightly contemporary bands you might be familiar with include Biffy Clyro, Primal Scream and the Proclaimers. For the super contemporary check out Lewis Capaldi’s Twitter feed. I’m even going to claim AC/DC being that guitarists Angus and Malcolm Young were born in Glasgow and lead singer Bon Scot (Bonnie Scotland) was born in Forfar and lived in Kirriemuir. Take that Australians.
We can also dance. Scottish men have been practicing ceilidh dancing since primary school. A ceilidh is a party with traditional Scottish music and dancing, so we can sweep you off your feet, literally. Jog on Travolta.
You can thank John Logie Baird for inventing the television and giving the opportunity to such Scottish film stars like James McAvoy and Gerard Butler to take the screen. Might as well thank Alexander Graham Bell for inventing the telephone while you’re reading this on your mobile too…probably.
Scottish men have helped discover a long line of medicine we take for granted today – penicillin (Sir Alexander Fleming), the hypodermic syringe (Alexander Wood), and the saline drip (Dr Thomas Latta). We’re a caring bunch, and will even bring you Lemsip and chicken soup if you’re bunged up.
What temperature are babies born at?
Yvette will argue that comedy is subjective but we’ve got some brilliant comedians and TV shows. Frankie Boyle, Billy Connolly and Kevin Bridges are excellent stand ups’, if not slightly offensive to those who are offended by comedians telling jokes.
For TV shows I recommend checking out Still Game and Rab C Nesbitt to give you an idea of our humour.
We live most of our lives in the cold and dark so we’re the best around at seeing the bright side of life and putting a positive spin on situations, but we’re also self-deprecating and will make fun of most things.
Yes. We wear kilts.
All the time. To work, to the gym, doing the ironing and swimming.
I jest (see I told you we like to make fun of most things). We most likely wear them to weddings and other special occasions. If we wore them all the time it wouldn’t be as cool. Wearing a kilt in Las Vegas will however get you lots of free drinks from scary American navy seals who “swear that is the coolest damn thing I’ve ever seen.”
How to meet a Scottish man
If this all sounds great and you’re wondering how to meet a Scottish man, the most obvious answer to this is to get your flights to Scotland booked. We spend most of our time here. Then when you get here, head straight to the pub. Just make sure you don’t arrive too late or you won’t understand a thing we’re saying. I’ve heard the accent can be difficult to understand, but if you add alcohol to the mix you’ve no chance.
Alternatively download Tinder and thumb through “randoms” when you’re bored on your lunch break. I can guarantee this has worked for a certain Kiwi before. Sorry Yvette.
How to care for your Scotsman
Once you’ve acquired a Scotsman, you need to know how to take care of him.
Like all men, Scottish men are relatively low maintenance. If you are of the age where you have owned and managed to keep a Tamagotchi alive for one day then you should be fine. Keep us reasonably well fed, watered (generally with a nice beer or whisky) and tell us we look handsome and that our thinning hair makes us look distinguished, and we are generally pretty damn happy.
Are there any downsides to dating Scottish men?
Okay, maybe a couple.
Yes, I want to keep the bedroom window open all the time, even in the deepest coldest depths of winter.
We are also impressive drinkers. This is not a dig at your drinking abilities – this is just fact. There’s not much else to do in winter when it’s only light between 9am and 3pm. This is also why we are pasty.
Dating a Scotsman has many perks. We are kind, funny, and interesting.
If you are actively looking for a partner don’t expect the first Scotsman to be ‘the one’. Try a few. Concentrate on being the best you that you can be and the right person will arrive when the time is right. Hit the gym, read some books, learn some new skills. Be the person you would want a partner to be attracted to. It will fall into place.