Yes, you read correctly- I’m getting married!
If someone had said to me one year ago that this time next year I’d be planning a wedding, I would have replied ”You’ve got the wrong lass.”
This year has had so many ups and downs so I’m really excited to end 2019 on a high note.
I have been trying to write this post for weeks, however the majority of my time has been taken up trying to plan a wedding that is taking place in January.
Yes- January. As in next month.
The wedding planning itself isn’t that stressful, but it is finding the time that is.
So in order to fit in a full time job, my freelance work and planning a wedding, I had to throw a couple of things out the window- the blog and exercise.
BUT only for a short while- and that’s why you haven’t seen or heard much from me during the month of November. I’m back now however! And my blog is taking precedence over a lot of stuff (more on that later- it deserves a blog post of its own).
My detour to love
You know how you day dream about winning the lottery, and you start visualising how you’d spend the money?
For example, paying off all your debts, buying a house, flying all around the world and taking your pals with you, helping out your parents after all those years they’ve supported you, quitting your job and doing what you’re REALLY passionate about (I could go on and on).
And then you think ‘That would be AMAZING, but the chances of me winning the lottery are pretty slim.”
But then you actually win the lottery- and all of the above is possible.
That is literally how I feel about meeting Craig. You build up an idea of the perfect guy and the perfect relationship in your head, and it’s so great that you can’t quite believe it will ever happen. But then you meet him.
Just over three years ago a broken heart was the catalyst that forced me to move abroad and go on some downright crazy adventures.
In my twenties I was never great with men.
I was the type of person to love whoever I was with so damn much I would do anything and everything for them- including sacrificing my happiness and mental health.
I’m an empath, which is the best kind of bait to attract narcissists.
[I just want to add in here that I DID date some lovely guys, and we ended on good terms. We just weren’t right for each other- and things just fizzled out. That’s life.]
So after like, 10 seasons of dating guys that were all wrong for me (just like Friends, but not that funny) I finally had a ‘screw this’ moment and moved to Canada to be truly single, have fun and create a really positive relationship with myself.
And I can honestly say it was really hard to get to a place of self-acceptance and self-love. It wasn’t an overnight journey. It included many chapters; some that almost crippled me. But it got easier as time went on.
Learning about yourself has no final destination. I’m incredibly impatient, so this was tough.
There were moments I felt incredible lonely, such as when I lived in a van by myself in Canada and when I hiked the Scottish National Trail. These uncomfortable experiences helped me to face trauma that had been buried for as long as I can remember being alive.
It took me almost three years, but I did a lot of healing.
I spent Christmas Day in 2018 entirely by myself. I remember thinking ”I can choose to feel sorry for myself, or I can choose to spend this day being happy and doing the things I love.”
So I slept in, went to the gym, did some writing, cooked myself vegetable soup, ate popcorn and watched Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour on Netflix and Skyped my family and friends.
As far as Christmas goes, it was a pretty great day. If I could spend Christmas day alone and happy, that’s a pretty good indication I’d nailed this being single business.
Not everyone gets to experience a period of being single and travelling, so I am eternally grateful for this time in my life.
How I met the Haggis
Ever since I’d finished the Scottish National Trail, I was ready to meet someone. I had built a life that I loved, and now I wanted to find someone to go on adventures with.
I only had to wait six months, and in January 2019 I met Craig.
Now, I would love to tell you this epically romantic story of how we met, but that would be a lie. We met how most people meet these days. On Tinder.
Craig’s story of how we met goes something like this: ” I complimented her on her cheekbones and then wouldn’t leave her alone.”
And that’s pretty accuarate. I’d worked so hard on my life that I wasn’t going to share my life with just anyone. So he had to try pretty hard to win me over.
I wasn’t a closed book or anything; I just felt so relaxed and happy being with myself and I had standards about how I would allow men to treat me. I didn’t want anyone to disturb my zen. I wanted someone to add to it.
For our first date he took me out for dinner to Tony Macaroni (I still laugh every time I say this) and he was so nervous he asked me on a second date three times. I thought it was charming (and hilarious).
He really is the best; kind, funny, caring and adventurous. Plus he does my ironing.
He makes me want to try harder to be a better person.
My take on marriage
I guess some would assume that because I’m a bit nomadic that marriage isn’t something I’d believe in.
But it’s something I’ve always wanted. However, if I happened to meet someone who didn’t want that, that would be fine too. Being married doesn’t change my commitment to someone. I’m fiercely loyal.
The idea of a wedding always appealed to me because it’s basically just a giant party with people you care about, where you celebrate the amazing connection you have with your partner.
And having a Scottish wedding? Um, hell yeah!
We’re getting married one year to the day we met, in a 16th century building that Mary Queen of Scots once visited.
Our wedding will be simple. I don’t want something big and expensive. I just want to be surrounded by nature and the good people in our lives.
It’s also important to us that we keep waste to an absolute minimum; we’re ommitting many of the traditional aspects of a wedding because we don’t want to produce random stuff for just one day. Photos and memories are enough.
I don’t want to give too much about the wedding away- but you can expect a blog post about the day in the future!
I’ve also created a new section for my blog entitled ‘Life in Scotland.’
This section will be a lot more personal compared to the travel advice articles on the rest of my blog. You can find all posts in this category here.
What’s your love story? I’d like to hear it! Share it in the comments.